WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.020 --> 00:00:01.180 Hey, 2 00:00:01.280 --> 00:00:02.622 here's another microdose. 3 00:00:03.141 --> 00:00:04.764 This one might want to think of a triple dose, 4 00:00:04.765 --> 00:00:08.227 a little bit longer than what we typically put out there as a microdose. 5 00:00:08.266 --> 00:00:15.555 But I had an opportunity in the last month or so to jump on a podcast and YouTube channel by 6 00:00:16.055 --> 00:00:18.235 Michelle Smith entitled 7 00:00:18.657 --> 00:00:19.110 Leadership 8 00:00:19.719 --> 00:00:26.860 Soundbites. And we took this 30 minutes to break down and go deep into a quote by Dostoevsky, 9 00:00:26.969 --> 00:00:27.985 which I really enjoy, 10 00:00:28.954 --> 00:00:30.610 from a book called Notes from Underground. 11 00:00:31.312 --> 00:00:31.572 And, 12 00:00:32.433 --> 00:00:32.673 you know, 13 00:00:32.714 --> 00:00:33.714 this is going to help you to, 14 00:00:34.374 --> 00:00:34.995 by listening, 15 00:00:35.655 --> 00:00:41.663 maybe you're trapped in overthinking and can understand the transformational power of direct experience. 16 00:00:42.241 --> 00:00:43.124 In this conversation, 17 00:00:43.163 --> 00:00:43.921 we explore, 18 00:00:44.546 --> 00:00:44.788 you know, 19 00:00:44.804 --> 00:00:47.163 why the world needs more compassionate fools, 20 00:00:47.210 --> 00:00:47.695 if you will. 21 00:00:48.491 --> 00:00:53.976 People who take risks show up imperfectly and lead with heart and not ego. 22 00:00:55.210 --> 00:00:55.632 So enjoy, 23 00:00:55.679 --> 00:00:56.101 everybody. 24 00:00:56.741 --> 00:00:58.741 And leave a comment down below. 25 00:00:58.960 --> 00:00:59.757 Let us know what you think. 26 00:01:00.364 --> 00:01:04.386 Thanks for checking this out and being part of our community. 27 00:01:04.686 --> 00:01:05.186 Have a great day. 28 00:01:08.565 --> 00:01:10.206 Like don't pursue perfection. 29 00:01:11.284 --> 00:01:12.565 It is like to be perfect, 30 00:01:12.589 --> 00:01:13.323 to sound perfect, 31 00:01:13.324 --> 00:01:14.104 to look perfect. 32 00:01:14.643 --> 00:01:19.331 Like it's a false pursuit and it's always going to let you down because the goalpost is always moving. 33 00:01:19.815 --> 00:01:20.862 I think excellence, 34 00:01:20.956 --> 00:01:21.815 like how can I, 35 00:01:23.268 --> 00:01:24.268 through this experience, 36 00:01:24.315 --> 00:01:27.393 discover and refine through more excellence? 37 00:01:28.487 --> 00:01:28.737 and 38 00:01:30.356 --> 00:01:32.097 And I think that's definitely the way forward. 39 00:01:32.118 --> 00:01:33.859 That's like the fool's way forward. 40 00:01:35.283 --> 00:01:37.162 And I'd rather be in the game, 41 00:01:37.525 --> 00:01:38.861 but I'll use my intelligence. 42 00:01:39.869 --> 00:01:40.884 So welcome. 43 00:01:41.064 --> 00:01:42.830 So this week's episode of Latest Soundbites, 44 00:01:42.986 --> 00:01:43.947 my special guest, 45 00:01:43.986 --> 00:01:48.752 who I freaking met on a LinkedIn live with April and a couple other people. 46 00:01:48.939 --> 00:01:50.424 And I just had to reach out. 47 00:01:50.892 --> 00:01:52.033 So people are like, 48 00:01:52.142 --> 00:01:52.361 okay, 49 00:01:52.392 --> 00:01:52.814 who's Will? 50 00:01:52.815 --> 00:01:54.174 Because Will's name is right there. 51 00:01:54.668 --> 00:02:09.963 um will schneider ambassador of compassion from stanford university and it's so funny when you were telling me this and i'll just share with people out myself i'm like he can't be saying stanford because that's west coast and will is the last thing was a resident of new york co-host 52 00:02:10.065 --> 00:02:18.744 which i freaking love too is men talking is it mindfulness podcast men talking about this um and i I... 53 00:02:20.136 --> 00:02:21.437 I'm so excited about that. 54 00:02:21.438 --> 00:02:27.305 And here's why is because I think there's a lot of guys that go into this tough guy thing that I, 55 00:02:27.465 --> 00:02:28.902 that I'm not going to connect into, 56 00:02:29.144 --> 00:02:29.387 you know, 57 00:02:30.246 --> 00:02:30.707 feelers, 58 00:02:30.746 --> 00:02:31.207 if you will. 59 00:02:32.027 --> 00:02:32.269 Um, 60 00:02:32.527 --> 00:02:37.027 and it's important to start breaking that crap down so that they, 61 00:02:37.793 --> 00:02:38.934 that you guys are okay with it. 62 00:02:38.949 --> 00:02:40.074 I know women are more, 63 00:02:40.590 --> 00:02:40.855 you know, 64 00:02:40.949 --> 00:02:41.965 into that and it's okay. 65 00:02:42.262 --> 00:02:42.371 Um, 66 00:02:42.434 --> 00:02:44.652 so I got super excited about that when you were, 67 00:02:44.824 --> 00:02:45.027 um, 68 00:02:45.527 --> 00:02:46.840 when April did a LinkedIn live. 69 00:02:47.572 --> 00:02:49.213 So welcome to Conversation, 70 00:02:49.293 --> 00:02:49.412 sir. 71 00:02:49.432 --> 00:02:51.651 And I know you have a quote to kick us off with. 72 00:02:52.175 --> 00:02:52.534 Okay. 73 00:02:52.694 --> 00:02:52.893 Well, 74 00:02:53.452 --> 00:02:55.155 I appreciate this opportunity. 75 00:02:55.413 --> 00:02:57.975 Always great to teach and spread the word. 76 00:02:58.014 --> 00:03:01.257 And it's really been an honor to be here, 77 00:03:01.272 --> 00:03:03.577 but also like to serve within the podcast. 78 00:03:03.608 --> 00:03:04.530 Like it's really been great. 79 00:03:04.733 --> 00:03:05.671 So thank you. 80 00:03:05.702 --> 00:03:05.936 Thank you. 81 00:03:05.952 --> 00:03:06.296 Thank you. 82 00:03:06.530 --> 00:03:07.030 And all right, 83 00:03:07.031 --> 00:03:08.921 so we're going to go into a quote that 84 00:03:09.593 --> 00:03:10.577 I've used before, 85 00:03:11.577 --> 00:03:12.593 like speaking gigs. 86 00:03:12.624 --> 00:03:16.218 It's really had a profound impact on my life when I first read it. 87 00:03:16.808 --> 00:03:17.309 And it's from 88 00:03:17.770 --> 00:03:20.451 Dostoevsky from Notes from Underground. 89 00:03:20.531 --> 00:03:21.133 And he says, 90 00:03:22.273 --> 00:03:23.816 and this is a character in the book, 91 00:03:23.914 --> 00:03:25.418 it's called The Underground Man. 92 00:03:25.559 --> 00:03:27.277 And The Underground Man is this, 93 00:03:28.340 --> 00:03:28.957 this is his, 94 00:03:29.723 --> 00:03:30.606 towards the end of his life, 95 00:03:30.621 --> 00:03:31.762 he has this realization. 96 00:03:31.965 --> 00:03:32.887 And he realizes, 97 00:03:33.090 --> 00:03:34.387 I cannot become anything, 98 00:03:34.809 --> 00:03:36.371 neither good nor bad, 99 00:03:36.481 --> 00:03:37.731 neither a scoundrel, 100 00:03:38.168 --> 00:03:39.184 nor an honest man, 101 00:03:39.371 --> 00:03:40.074 neither a hero, 102 00:03:40.856 --> 00:03:41.668 nor an insect. 103 00:03:42.168 --> 00:03:45.621 And now I'm eking out my days in my corner. 104 00:03:46.072 --> 00:04:05.309 taunting myself with the bitter and entirely useless consolation that an intelligent man cannot seriously become anything that only a fool can become something i was like whoa right what is that what's this intellectual man versus the fool you know what am i kind of missing here and 105 00:04:06.215 --> 00:04:15.340 um you know you want to ask questions you want me to just dive right in speak a little i want i want to yeah i was waiting i didn't want to interrupt because the brain goes 50 zoning directions when you say that 106 00:04:15.612 --> 00:04:16.533 Yeah. 107 00:04:17.034 --> 00:04:17.894 What does it mean to you? 108 00:04:18.435 --> 00:04:20.995 And I think that's part of my question to start out with, 109 00:04:21.378 --> 00:04:21.636 because 110 00:04:21.999 --> 00:04:22.820 I do have thoughts. 111 00:04:24.058 --> 00:04:24.722 I'm glad you do. 112 00:04:25.058 --> 00:04:25.402 That's good, 113 00:04:25.425 --> 00:04:25.761 Michelle. 114 00:04:25.784 --> 00:04:26.581 You have thinking, 115 00:04:26.683 --> 00:04:27.800 but sometimes that thinking, 116 00:04:27.847 --> 00:04:32.534 but really what the underground man is doing and he realizes like he, 117 00:04:33.347 --> 00:04:35.659 it's like analysis paralysis, 118 00:04:35.753 --> 00:04:35.909 right? 119 00:04:35.988 --> 00:04:37.175 Always overthinking. 120 00:04:37.378 --> 00:04:44.941 And therefore he's like questioning himself and kind of like lives in this like internal chaotic state in his mind. 121 00:04:45.504 --> 00:04:45.624 So, 122 00:04:45.724 --> 00:04:45.925 like, 123 00:04:46.165 --> 00:04:46.625 he talks, 124 00:04:46.645 --> 00:04:47.586 I think it's really interesting, 125 00:04:47.787 --> 00:04:49.328 he lives in this fence of nor, 126 00:04:49.787 --> 00:04:50.009 you know, 127 00:04:50.088 --> 00:04:51.431 couldn't be good nor bad. 128 00:04:51.912 --> 00:04:52.170 I mean, 129 00:04:52.209 --> 00:04:52.771 it's just like, 130 00:04:53.052 --> 00:04:53.170 yeah, 131 00:04:53.252 --> 00:04:53.756 it couldn't be, 132 00:04:54.334 --> 00:04:54.576 you know, 133 00:04:54.577 --> 00:04:56.318 a hero nor an insect. 134 00:04:56.412 --> 00:04:58.576 He couldn't even imagine himself as an insect because, 135 00:04:58.638 --> 00:04:58.818 like... 136 00:04:59.162 --> 00:05:00.684 He might seem foolish or something like that. 137 00:05:00.983 --> 00:05:01.224 You know, 138 00:05:01.225 --> 00:05:02.946 so he's always like waffling. 139 00:05:02.985 --> 00:05:03.548 Should I do this? 140 00:05:03.587 --> 00:05:04.247 Should I do that? 141 00:05:04.325 --> 00:05:05.087 And like living, 142 00:05:05.489 --> 00:05:05.747 you know, 143 00:05:05.849 --> 00:05:09.731 in the would'ves and should'ves and could'ves instead of taking action, 144 00:05:09.833 --> 00:05:12.075 having direct experience and learning. 145 00:05:12.076 --> 00:05:12.513 And actually, 146 00:05:12.817 --> 00:05:13.778 how do we gain knowledge? 147 00:05:14.013 --> 00:05:17.294 The only way we actually gain knowledge is through direct experience, 148 00:05:17.716 --> 00:05:17.888 right? 149 00:05:18.153 --> 00:05:19.810 And the experience doesn't matter. 150 00:05:19.811 --> 00:05:20.138 Failure. 151 00:05:20.606 --> 00:05:20.716 Yeah, 152 00:05:20.810 --> 00:05:21.356 through failure. 153 00:05:21.606 --> 00:05:22.731 Through failure. 154 00:05:22.747 --> 00:05:22.903 Yeah, 155 00:05:22.904 --> 00:05:23.606 through failure, 156 00:05:23.669 --> 00:05:23.872 right? 157 00:05:23.888 --> 00:05:24.606 And triumph. 158 00:05:24.903 --> 00:05:25.169 You know, 159 00:05:25.200 --> 00:05:27.825 you can definitely triumph and be successful and learn from that. 160 00:05:28.074 --> 00:05:30.175 We learn a hell of a lot more from failure. 161 00:05:30.738 --> 00:05:31.878 Yeah. 162 00:05:31.898 --> 00:05:32.640 Of course we do. 163 00:05:32.679 --> 00:05:33.101 Of course. 164 00:05:33.102 --> 00:05:33.339 I mean, 165 00:05:33.340 --> 00:05:34.261 but it's not even failure. 166 00:05:34.262 --> 00:05:34.882 It's feedback. 167 00:05:35.523 --> 00:05:35.941 It's like, 168 00:05:36.242 --> 00:05:36.484 you know, 169 00:05:36.499 --> 00:05:37.382 that F word. 170 00:05:37.383 --> 00:05:37.546 Yes. 171 00:05:38.343 --> 00:05:38.687 Right. 172 00:05:38.726 --> 00:05:40.023 And I like that F word. 173 00:05:40.046 --> 00:05:40.249 I mean, 174 00:05:40.265 --> 00:05:41.546 I like the other F word. 175 00:05:41.851 --> 00:05:42.148 You know, 176 00:05:42.210 --> 00:05:42.671 that is not. 177 00:05:44.195 --> 00:05:44.413 But, 178 00:05:44.788 --> 00:05:45.007 you know, 179 00:05:45.008 --> 00:05:48.007 but feedback is just it's what we need. 180 00:05:48.179 --> 00:05:48.351 Like, 181 00:05:48.352 --> 00:05:51.273 if you really want to explore your potential, 182 00:05:52.210 --> 00:05:53.304 you need to take a risk. 183 00:05:53.320 --> 00:05:54.820 You need to put yourself out there. 184 00:05:55.117 --> 00:05:55.367 You know. 185 00:05:55.990 --> 00:05:57.932 and what really helps us lead, 186 00:05:57.973 --> 00:05:58.293 you know, 187 00:05:58.572 --> 00:05:59.955 where does risk take place, 188 00:06:00.393 --> 00:06:00.557 right? 189 00:06:00.596 --> 00:06:01.674 Where does courage come from? 190 00:06:01.776 --> 00:06:02.436 From the heart, 191 00:06:03.096 --> 00:06:03.237 right? 192 00:06:03.238 --> 00:06:04.276 So it's not from the mind. 193 00:06:04.322 --> 00:06:08.463 And we get like so trapped in the mind for so many different reasons. 194 00:06:10.002 --> 00:06:12.307 But when we begin to like let go, 195 00:06:12.432 --> 00:06:12.807 it's like, 196 00:06:12.822 --> 00:06:12.947 hey, 197 00:06:12.963 --> 00:06:17.791 that's just thinking like that and understand like the message from the underground man here, 198 00:06:18.838 --> 00:06:22.713 like the intelligent man cannot seriously become anything. 199 00:06:22.862 --> 00:06:24.664 that only a fool can become something. 200 00:06:24.665 --> 00:06:25.404 But what's the fool do? 201 00:06:25.926 --> 00:06:26.146 You know, 202 00:06:26.147 --> 00:06:28.326 the fool is the one that like takes up the cause. 203 00:06:29.287 --> 00:06:32.752 The fool is the one that is willing to like take the risk and try something. 204 00:06:33.049 --> 00:06:37.853 The fool is the one that is like looking for results, 205 00:06:38.095 --> 00:06:38.314 right? 206 00:06:38.439 --> 00:06:38.885 Actually, 207 00:06:38.886 --> 00:06:43.885 like real results instead of just hypothesizing or theorizing or thinking all the time. 208 00:06:45.088 --> 00:06:45.228 Well, 209 00:06:45.291 --> 00:06:50.525 and I think that so it's interesting because the thing that came to mind when you were talking is that we all... 210 00:06:51.094 --> 00:07:07.603 we have humans tend to have a fear of failure and it gets reinforced or elevated or made to be more important because of society around us and then this you know what if someone sees it what if someone what is someone going to think um 211 00:07:07.713 --> 00:07:15.400 and the thing is is it's important i strongly believe it's important to break out of that mold and be able to just say the stuff 212 00:07:15.902 --> 00:07:18.762 It's like when we bounced off when we first started here, 213 00:07:18.803 --> 00:07:19.123 I'm like, 214 00:07:19.143 --> 00:07:19.262 oh, 215 00:07:19.263 --> 00:07:19.703 my gosh, 216 00:07:19.825 --> 00:07:22.403 I'm going to share with people how my brain went through and got 217 00:07:22.985 --> 00:07:24.903 I couldn't be it couldn't be Stanford. 218 00:07:24.926 --> 00:07:26.543 It's got to be something else because you're from, 219 00:07:27.082 --> 00:07:27.325 you know, 220 00:07:27.364 --> 00:07:29.403 the East Coast and Stanford's on the West Coast. 221 00:07:29.825 --> 00:07:31.145 I think that stuff's important, 222 00:07:31.684 --> 00:07:32.246 which is why, 223 00:07:32.403 --> 00:07:33.621 like with this podcast, 224 00:07:33.684 --> 00:07:36.293 I tell people I'll trim the front end of it where, 225 00:07:36.387 --> 00:07:36.668 you know, 226 00:07:36.762 --> 00:07:43.215 we may be making noise before it starts and the back end of it because I can't find the stop recording button. 227 00:07:43.216 --> 00:07:44.606 Right. 228 00:07:44.621 --> 00:07:45.246 That's good enough. 229 00:07:46.134 --> 00:07:55.284 But we don't do the middle because I think it's important to realize that we're humans in the human experience and we have stumbles, 230 00:07:55.362 --> 00:07:55.862 missteps, 231 00:07:55.901 --> 00:07:56.362 faux pas, 232 00:07:56.425 --> 00:07:57.081 whatever it may be. 233 00:07:57.721 --> 00:07:59.370 And we pick ourselves up and we learn from it. 234 00:07:59.487 --> 00:08:00.370 And that's OK. 235 00:08:01.487 --> 00:08:01.846 Well, 236 00:08:01.847 --> 00:08:02.846 it should be the norm. 237 00:08:03.346 --> 00:08:03.471 Yes. 238 00:08:03.472 --> 00:08:04.471 It's not even about being OK. 239 00:08:04.596 --> 00:08:05.612 It should be the norm. 240 00:08:05.690 --> 00:08:10.003 It's the only way that we grow as human beings is through direct experience, 241 00:08:10.253 --> 00:08:11.018 is through trying, 242 00:08:11.315 --> 00:08:11.846 is through, 243 00:08:12.096 --> 00:08:12.346 you know, 244 00:08:12.393 --> 00:08:12.628 I mean, 245 00:08:12.878 --> 00:08:13.628 it's not even failure. 246 00:08:13.643 --> 00:08:14.206 just like you 247 00:08:14.258 --> 00:08:15.780 trying and trying and doing and doing. 248 00:08:15.840 --> 00:08:16.800 And what happens when you, 249 00:08:17.221 --> 00:08:17.462 you know, 250 00:08:17.463 --> 00:08:19.784 you keep showing up for a particular thing, 251 00:08:19.803 --> 00:08:21.206 you keep putting yourself out there. 252 00:08:22.268 --> 00:08:22.503 You know, 253 00:08:22.504 --> 00:08:23.948 you keep like just trying, 254 00:08:24.011 --> 00:08:24.190 like, 255 00:08:24.206 --> 00:08:24.425 I mean, 256 00:08:24.487 --> 00:08:26.190 my first few years of podcasts, 257 00:08:26.214 --> 00:08:27.354 I go back and I cringe. 258 00:08:27.995 --> 00:08:28.393 But like, 259 00:08:28.409 --> 00:08:29.870 if I if I never started, 260 00:08:29.917 --> 00:08:34.792 I would never be five years down the road with having like a top one and a half percent global podcast, 261 00:08:34.839 --> 00:08:35.417 because like, 262 00:08:35.823 --> 00:08:36.948 I've taken those steps, 263 00:08:37.854 --> 00:08:39.276 and just trying and trying. 264 00:08:39.339 --> 00:08:40.229 And then what What do I do? 265 00:08:40.230 --> 00:08:40.823 I refine, 266 00:08:40.901 --> 00:08:41.464 I refine. 267 00:08:42.098 --> 00:08:42.619 I get better. 268 00:08:42.639 --> 00:08:43.760 I go back and I listen. 269 00:08:43.840 --> 00:08:45.000 I still cringe sometimes. 270 00:08:45.381 --> 00:08:46.582 But I'm just like refining, 271 00:08:46.641 --> 00:08:47.043 refining, 272 00:08:47.082 --> 00:08:47.602 refining. 273 00:08:47.903 --> 00:08:50.129 And it's just like anything that you want to do, 274 00:08:50.246 --> 00:08:55.051 anything you want to be great at requires direct experience, 275 00:08:55.254 --> 00:08:56.989 but like honest self-reflection, 276 00:08:57.317 --> 00:08:58.692 but not beating yourself up. 277 00:08:59.160 --> 00:09:03.535 That's why the compassion part is key to direct experience. 278 00:09:03.598 --> 00:09:04.817 Instead of saying, 279 00:09:04.864 --> 00:09:04.973 oh, 280 00:09:05.004 --> 00:09:09.832 I sounded so stupid and it being about the external validation, 281 00:09:09.942 --> 00:09:11.332 it's being about everybody else. 282 00:09:11.882 --> 00:09:14.465 And if you're trying to live up to everyone else's expectations, 283 00:09:14.485 --> 00:09:15.907 like the goalpost is always moving. 284 00:09:16.305 --> 00:09:17.426 So you're never going to be able to see. 285 00:09:17.427 --> 00:09:18.207 You don't even know, 286 00:09:18.309 --> 00:09:21.051 half the time you don't even know those expectations in all honesty. 287 00:09:21.090 --> 00:09:21.809 Yeah. 288 00:09:21.810 --> 00:09:22.075 Okay. 289 00:09:22.434 --> 00:09:23.614 We make stuff up, 290 00:09:24.653 --> 00:09:24.934 you know, 291 00:09:25.035 --> 00:09:26.793 and a lot of times when you look at it, 292 00:09:26.981 --> 00:09:31.918 people relate more to real because they can see themselves in that real. 293 00:09:32.356 --> 00:09:32.559 Yeah. 294 00:09:32.700 --> 00:09:36.043 We might aspire to be the curated reality, 295 00:09:36.246 --> 00:09:36.700 whatever, 296 00:09:36.871 --> 00:09:38.184 but that's reality. 297 00:09:38.731 --> 00:09:38.950 Right. 298 00:09:39.434 --> 00:09:39.543 No. 299 00:09:39.684 --> 00:09:39.887 Yeah. 300 00:09:40.418 --> 00:09:40.638 I mean, 301 00:09:40.678 --> 00:09:41.359 it's like that, 302 00:09:41.440 --> 00:09:43.160 like what you said is very important too. 303 00:09:43.201 --> 00:09:46.303 It's like the authentic experience, 304 00:09:46.346 --> 00:09:48.369 like being truly yourself, 305 00:09:48.549 --> 00:09:48.690 right? 306 00:09:48.705 --> 00:09:49.705 This is a heart-led life. 307 00:09:49.706 --> 00:09:50.705 I think there's a big difference, 308 00:09:51.049 --> 00:09:55.213 distinction between like the mind-led and I think it's the mind is always transactional, 309 00:09:55.275 --> 00:09:56.033 give and take, 310 00:09:56.354 --> 00:09:56.619 you know, 311 00:09:56.682 --> 00:09:57.588 it's always like, 312 00:09:57.682 --> 00:09:57.932 you know, 313 00:09:58.510 --> 00:09:59.494 deciphering, 314 00:09:59.650 --> 00:09:59.900 you know, 315 00:09:59.932 --> 00:10:00.697 defining, 316 00:10:01.666 --> 00:10:01.900 you know, 317 00:10:02.025 --> 00:10:03.479 just kind of separating things, 318 00:10:03.588 --> 00:10:04.416 which is important. 319 00:10:04.417 --> 00:10:04.557 I mean, 320 00:10:04.558 --> 00:10:07.697 the mind and the heart is part of the human experience, 321 00:10:07.698 --> 00:10:08.900 but if we're still locked that are 322 00:10:09.063 --> 00:10:10.230 always locked in our mind, 323 00:10:10.773 --> 00:10:12.867 then we're never going to get on the inside. 324 00:10:13.785 --> 00:10:13.906 And, 325 00:10:14.026 --> 00:10:16.988 and insert like for that internal valid, 326 00:10:17.029 --> 00:10:17.949 internal validation, 327 00:10:17.988 --> 00:10:20.070 like the implicit experience of things. 328 00:10:20.071 --> 00:10:21.234 And that's the only way we grow, 329 00:10:21.235 --> 00:10:22.097 the only way we learn. 330 00:10:22.715 --> 00:10:26.277 And from that in that intrinsic or implicit experience, 331 00:10:26.676 --> 00:10:26.855 right. 332 00:10:27.402 --> 00:10:28.379 In order to get there, 333 00:10:28.777 --> 00:10:30.254 there's a certain amount of like, 334 00:10:30.707 --> 00:10:31.082 fuck it, 335 00:10:31.144 --> 00:10:31.316 like, 336 00:10:31.379 --> 00:10:32.269 I'm just going to try it, 337 00:10:32.316 --> 00:10:32.457 which, 338 00:10:32.738 --> 00:10:34.441 which calls forth our authenticity, 339 00:10:34.988 --> 00:10:35.191 right, 340 00:10:35.254 --> 00:10:39.144 which is the highest ranking energy that you can possibly experience from another person. 341 00:10:39.988 --> 00:10:41.426 so just like so you have this like 342 00:10:42.065 --> 00:10:44.568 This frequency that goes out when you're just like, 343 00:10:44.728 --> 00:10:45.068 fuck it, 344 00:10:45.089 --> 00:10:45.570 I don't care. 345 00:10:45.648 --> 00:10:46.269 I'm just doing this. 346 00:10:46.351 --> 00:10:47.050 I'm just waiting. 347 00:10:47.070 --> 00:10:52.378 I'm here talking to you in this way because I've learned that the more that 348 00:10:53.456 --> 00:10:55.839 I just listen to the internal compass. 349 00:10:56.597 --> 00:10:57.683 And we have a goal here. 350 00:10:57.684 --> 00:10:59.487 We want to help people unlock. 351 00:10:59.722 --> 00:11:05.191 We want to help people free themselves and live a more holistic and loving life. 352 00:11:05.206 --> 00:11:06.409 And what happens when they do that? 353 00:11:06.675 --> 00:11:07.316 They feel better. 354 00:11:07.362 --> 00:11:08.378 People around them feel better. 355 00:11:08.379 --> 00:11:09.191 The results are better. 356 00:11:09.192 --> 00:11:10.253 The creativity goes up. 357 00:11:10.737 --> 00:11:27.831 right their relationships begin to change right they start to become you know they begin to grow as a person their company grows their family grows the opportunities come forth and it's all from you know being authentic forgetting about like what the crowd like and what everybody thinking and saying like i would be locked 358 00:11:27.878 --> 00:11:40.159 up i mean i'd still i wouldn't have left scranton i mean i wouldn't have like if i was so worried about what everyone felt and i see a lot of my family a lot of my friends back home they're still living with that like oh what would they think 359 00:11:40.413 --> 00:11:41.113 what happens if I, 360 00:11:41.193 --> 00:11:41.494 if this, 361 00:11:41.574 --> 00:11:41.834 if I, 362 00:11:41.994 --> 00:11:43.174 if I did that or said this, 363 00:11:43.194 --> 00:11:43.813 and it's just like, 364 00:11:43.834 --> 00:11:44.053 well, 365 00:11:44.395 --> 00:11:44.954 who cares? 366 00:11:45.774 --> 00:11:45.915 Well, 367 00:11:45.916 --> 00:11:46.254 the thing, 368 00:11:46.375 --> 00:11:47.274 and the other part too, 369 00:11:47.395 --> 00:11:50.836 is that people know is that no matter what you do, 370 00:11:51.719 --> 00:11:53.399 you're not going to appeal to everyone. 371 00:11:54.016 --> 00:11:54.579 Why even try? 372 00:11:54.594 --> 00:11:56.313 You might as well appeal to yourself. 373 00:11:56.579 --> 00:11:57.141 Exactly. 374 00:11:57.142 --> 00:11:58.813 And then your people will find you. 375 00:12:00.141 --> 00:12:00.282 Yeah. 376 00:12:00.360 --> 00:12:00.750 Thank you. 377 00:12:00.938 --> 00:12:01.532 Exactly. 378 00:12:01.672 --> 00:12:02.250 Exactly. 379 00:12:02.313 --> 00:12:02.563 I mean, 380 00:12:02.594 --> 00:12:02.813 again, 381 00:12:02.875 --> 00:12:03.032 that, 382 00:12:03.094 --> 00:12:04.532 that energy of authenticity, 383 00:12:05.125 --> 00:12:06.875 it's like what your vibe attracts your, 384 00:12:07.219 --> 00:12:07.375 your, 385 00:12:07.532 --> 00:12:08.235 your tribe. 386 00:12:08.869 --> 00:12:09.089 Right. 387 00:12:09.189 --> 00:12:09.370 Like, 388 00:12:09.390 --> 00:12:11.813 so you putting that vibe out there and all of a sudden it's like, 389 00:12:11.893 --> 00:12:12.012 oh, 390 00:12:12.092 --> 00:12:12.453 wow. 391 00:12:13.053 --> 00:12:13.795 One thing I've seen, 392 00:12:14.295 --> 00:12:18.717 like from like authenticity point of view and from this like, 393 00:12:19.162 --> 00:12:19.396 you know, 394 00:12:19.498 --> 00:12:20.561 foolish perspective, 395 00:12:20.584 --> 00:12:21.100 if you will, 396 00:12:21.678 --> 00:12:22.561 is like I remember 397 00:12:22.904 --> 00:12:27.443 I teach I taught I taught a lot of yoga here in the city pre pandemic. 398 00:12:27.771 --> 00:12:30.146 Like the industry decimated because of the pandemic. 399 00:12:30.803 --> 00:12:33.053 But it is what it is, 400 00:12:33.054 --> 00:12:33.334 you know, 401 00:12:33.771 --> 00:12:33.928 but 402 00:12:34.381 --> 00:12:35.990 I learned by showing up like. 403 00:12:36.161 --> 00:12:36.321 eight, 404 00:12:36.401 --> 00:12:37.923 10 times a week teaching class. 405 00:12:37.963 --> 00:12:39.123 Like I'm teaching in front of like, 406 00:12:39.184 --> 00:12:40.725 and New York is no small place. 407 00:12:40.744 --> 00:12:41.588 I have like 20, 408 00:12:41.686 --> 00:12:41.908 30, 409 00:12:42.006 --> 00:12:42.248 50, 410 00:12:42.389 --> 00:12:43.588 60 people in my class. 411 00:12:44.029 --> 00:12:44.791 Wow. 412 00:12:44.830 --> 00:12:45.033 Right. 413 00:12:45.072 --> 00:12:45.533 So it's like, 414 00:12:45.807 --> 00:12:45.932 so, 415 00:12:46.752 --> 00:12:49.275 and it's not like I'm performing and performance is like, 416 00:12:49.416 --> 00:12:50.174 I hope they like me. 417 00:12:50.393 --> 00:12:50.533 Like, 418 00:12:50.752 --> 00:12:51.213 oh my God, 419 00:12:51.214 --> 00:12:52.275 did that sound right? 420 00:12:52.338 --> 00:12:52.541 Like, 421 00:12:52.557 --> 00:12:53.682 what does my outfit look like? 422 00:12:53.683 --> 00:12:53.775 No, 423 00:12:53.776 --> 00:12:53.916 no, 424 00:12:53.932 --> 00:12:54.057 no. 425 00:12:54.338 --> 00:12:54.775 I just show up. 426 00:12:54.807 --> 00:12:55.103 It's like, 427 00:12:55.182 --> 00:12:55.978 I'm here to serve. 428 00:12:56.541 --> 00:12:57.557 I'm here to help them, 429 00:12:57.947 --> 00:12:58.197 you know, 430 00:12:58.244 --> 00:13:00.666 understand this particular aspect of the practice, 431 00:13:00.682 --> 00:13:03.635 whether it's the breathing or meditating or their body in some way. 432 00:13:04.045 --> 00:13:15.039 And using all the tools I have available to me from my direct experiences leading up to that point to help them have a genuine experience with whatever I'm particularly teaching. 433 00:13:16.218 --> 00:13:17.117 Here's my question for you, 434 00:13:17.359 --> 00:13:19.461 because you're freaking absolutely right. 435 00:13:19.898 --> 00:13:22.570 And my brain goes to that's you in front of the class. 436 00:13:22.961 --> 00:13:24.961 That is leadership, 437 00:13:25.101 --> 00:13:27.351 leaders who are like that leading authentically. 438 00:13:28.429 --> 00:13:30.164 And I get people all the time that go, 439 00:13:30.617 --> 00:13:30.851 you know, 440 00:13:30.914 --> 00:13:33.054 I get in front of a room and I'm nervous or people. 441 00:13:33.257 --> 00:13:33.570 I said 442 00:13:34.197 --> 00:13:51.613 shift the focus this is not about you this is about the people in the room and when you shift the focus like you did so my my hypothesis is or my gut is is you were not nervous in front of 20 40 50 whatever however many people in that room because you were there for them right 443 00:13:51.957 --> 00:13:58.957 right and when we're in service to someone else that way in that in that capacity there are no nerves i've been 444 00:13:59.541 --> 00:13:59.781 You know, 445 00:13:59.841 --> 00:14:02.382 room of 150 people doing leadership development, 446 00:14:02.423 --> 00:14:03.882 senior leaders in an organization. 447 00:14:04.261 --> 00:14:06.784 I'm not nervous because it's not about me. 448 00:14:07.507 --> 00:14:07.663 Yeah. 449 00:14:08.319 --> 00:14:08.522 Right. 450 00:14:08.905 --> 00:14:09.085 Right. 451 00:14:09.225 --> 00:14:09.343 Yeah. 452 00:14:09.382 --> 00:14:10.803 Attach to something more meaningful. 453 00:14:11.303 --> 00:14:12.905 Yeah. 454 00:14:12.906 --> 00:14:13.046 Yes. 455 00:14:13.085 --> 00:14:13.225 Yeah. 456 00:14:13.944 --> 00:14:16.819 I see that with a lot of young yoga teachers that come through. 457 00:14:16.850 --> 00:14:17.241 They're like, 458 00:14:17.538 --> 00:14:17.663 oh, 459 00:14:17.725 --> 00:14:20.366 I don't want to sound like this or I'm afraid about this. 460 00:14:20.367 --> 00:14:20.647 I'm like, 461 00:14:20.648 --> 00:14:20.772 well, 462 00:14:20.773 --> 00:14:21.444 who's that about? 463 00:14:22.225 --> 00:14:22.819 That's about you. 464 00:14:22.944 --> 00:14:24.428 It's like serve. 465 00:14:24.569 --> 00:14:24.803 I mean, 466 00:14:25.007 --> 00:14:26.507 the nerves are still there sometimes. 467 00:14:26.522 --> 00:14:27.007 You know what I mean? 468 00:14:27.008 --> 00:14:27.725 Because it's just like, 469 00:14:27.772 --> 00:14:28.069 okay. 470 00:14:28.689 --> 00:14:29.049 Here we go. 471 00:14:29.250 --> 00:14:33.133 But it's like I use them to just empower me and move forward. 472 00:14:33.254 --> 00:14:34.493 Or even here's another moment, 473 00:14:34.575 --> 00:14:34.794 right? 474 00:14:35.133 --> 00:14:35.797 You step up, 475 00:14:35.876 --> 00:14:36.774 anyone's listening, 476 00:14:37.001 --> 00:14:37.797 worried about being, 477 00:14:38.337 --> 00:14:38.657 you know, 478 00:14:38.899 --> 00:14:40.860 stepping in front of like giving a PowerPoint. 479 00:14:41.258 --> 00:14:43.462 It's like sometimes I'll even mention. 480 00:14:43.501 --> 00:14:43.844 It's like, 481 00:14:43.907 --> 00:14:44.047 oh, 482 00:14:44.344 --> 00:14:47.462 got to say I'm a little nervous because I'm really excited to present this to you all. 483 00:14:47.463 --> 00:14:48.133 And all of a sudden, 484 00:14:48.571 --> 00:14:48.805 you know, 485 00:14:48.852 --> 00:14:50.727 one thing I've learned through the ambassador training, 486 00:14:51.368 --> 00:14:56.321 one key point of self-compassion and compassion is common humanity. 487 00:14:56.993 --> 00:14:57.258 and 488 00:14:57.409 --> 00:15:13.056 the idea of common humanity is like we're all doing the best we can we're all flawed human beings we all have our own experiences right so why not like understand it just like this is the human experience and like double triple quadruple and make that like a value 489 00:15:13.573 --> 00:15:13.733 Right. 490 00:15:14.074 --> 00:15:23.527 To live in the authenticity because you begin to unlock everyone else around you when you come with that level of authenticity and that level of like foolishness, 491 00:15:23.542 --> 00:15:23.941 if you will. 492 00:15:24.683 --> 00:15:24.902 Well, 493 00:15:25.003 --> 00:15:25.964 it's interesting you say that, 494 00:15:26.042 --> 00:15:26.245 right, 495 00:15:26.285 --> 00:15:29.152 because it's like if you've been in the room with people and, 496 00:15:29.574 --> 00:15:30.167 you know, 497 00:15:30.183 --> 00:15:30.870 that are nervous. 498 00:15:31.714 --> 00:15:33.777 Are you surprised when they say I'm nervous? 499 00:15:34.230 --> 00:15:34.355 No. 500 00:15:34.980 --> 00:15:35.652 Exactly. 501 00:15:36.417 --> 00:15:37.995 Because you see it already. 502 00:15:38.120 --> 00:15:38.761 So it's like... 503 00:15:39.389 --> 00:15:41.730 Just say it so that it's out there. 504 00:15:41.731 --> 00:15:43.351 It's no longer the elephant in the room. 505 00:15:43.453 --> 00:15:44.434 And then people are going to go, 506 00:15:44.492 --> 00:15:44.613 oh, 507 00:15:44.614 --> 00:15:44.715 my. 508 00:15:44.773 --> 00:15:46.336 And then odds are the response is, 509 00:15:46.715 --> 00:15:48.039 you're going to be fine. 510 00:15:48.578 --> 00:15:49.922 You're going to be fine. 511 00:15:49.976 --> 00:15:50.937 It's going to be okay. 512 00:15:51.484 --> 00:15:51.641 But, 513 00:15:51.742 --> 00:15:51.961 I mean, 514 00:15:51.962 --> 00:15:54.086 it's not like you're telling them something they don't already see. 515 00:15:54.266 --> 00:15:58.367 It's like people when they get their 360 back or their leaders that are, 516 00:15:58.601 --> 00:15:58.851 you know, 517 00:15:59.367 --> 00:16:01.586 uncomfortable being vulnerable about stuff. 518 00:16:01.648 --> 00:16:01.851 Hey, 519 00:16:01.867 --> 00:16:02.945 I'm working on XYZ. 520 00:16:03.851 --> 00:16:04.726 What do people think? 521 00:16:04.789 --> 00:16:08.398 They're going to think that you're actually self-aware because they've seen it. 522 00:16:08.969 --> 00:16:24.061 forever you know right i just that kind of stuff is like don't let that get in the way because your energy's showing up that way anyway just call it out yeah yeah and it and it takes practice and awareness like because if you're you 523 00:16:24.062 --> 00:16:35.835 know we're having this conversation like kind of higher level because we've unlocked enough that we realize the value of just really showing up being honest being authentic trying not giving a shit right where a lot of people like I'm 524 00:16:35.961 --> 00:16:36.181 God, 525 00:16:36.221 --> 00:16:37.243 that would mortify me. 526 00:16:37.362 --> 00:16:38.803 Like I want to crawl in a hole like the, 527 00:16:38.883 --> 00:16:39.963 like the underground man, 528 00:16:39.987 --> 00:16:40.245 you know, 529 00:16:40.327 --> 00:16:40.846 where it's like, 530 00:16:41.366 --> 00:16:41.667 okay, 531 00:16:41.807 --> 00:16:42.006 well, 532 00:16:42.007 --> 00:16:42.147 I mean, 533 00:16:42.186 --> 00:16:46.870 so it might be difficult to like step up in front of like a large group or, 534 00:16:47.213 --> 00:16:47.549 uh, 535 00:16:47.550 --> 00:16:47.729 you know, 536 00:16:47.730 --> 00:16:47.854 uh, 537 00:16:48.534 --> 00:16:50.417 but what if you make it smaller in some ways, 538 00:16:50.432 --> 00:16:53.010 like put yourself out there in other ways. 539 00:16:53.073 --> 00:16:53.323 Like, 540 00:16:53.635 --> 00:16:53.885 you know, 541 00:16:53.886 --> 00:16:54.245 when I, 542 00:16:54.713 --> 00:16:54.963 you know, 543 00:16:54.995 --> 00:16:56.604 prepare for like a big talk, 544 00:16:56.667 --> 00:16:56.995 it's like, 545 00:16:56.996 --> 00:16:58.588 I'll have a little small audience, 546 00:16:58.698 --> 00:16:58.963 you know, 547 00:16:59.057 --> 00:16:59.807 at my apartment, 548 00:16:59.808 --> 00:17:01.104 I'll just have a few friends over the head. 549 00:17:01.167 --> 00:17:02.292 I need to run this through. 550 00:17:02.307 --> 00:17:03.823 I need to kind of get it out of my body. 551 00:17:03.854 --> 00:17:04.963 I need to get it out of my mouth. 552 00:17:05.293 --> 00:17:05.533 you know, 553 00:17:05.534 --> 00:17:10.176 and through my lips and I just really needed a little bit of an audience here and just run throughs, 554 00:17:12.141 --> 00:17:12.801 whatever it is, 555 00:17:13.102 --> 00:17:13.340 you know, 556 00:17:13.379 --> 00:17:17.027 just really helped me just to gain more confidence, 557 00:17:17.082 --> 00:17:20.707 ground myself into the reality of my humanity and just, 558 00:17:20.785 --> 00:17:21.191 and just, 559 00:17:21.270 --> 00:17:23.918 and just do the best I can. 560 00:17:23.996 --> 00:17:26.496 And when people are seeing that I'm doing the best I can, 561 00:17:26.637 --> 00:17:27.512 even though it might not be, 562 00:17:28.059 --> 00:17:28.309 you know, 563 00:17:28.496 --> 00:17:31.559 as beautiful as someone else might speak it or a speaker, 564 00:17:32.356 --> 00:17:33.168 but I'm trying. 565 00:17:33.773 --> 00:17:34.194 And again, 566 00:17:34.195 --> 00:17:35.395 that common humanity, 567 00:17:35.995 --> 00:17:36.896 people experience that. 568 00:17:36.897 --> 00:17:37.238 It's like, 569 00:17:37.898 --> 00:17:38.116 well, 570 00:17:38.117 --> 00:17:40.281 at least that's an authentic human being. 571 00:17:40.398 --> 00:17:42.999 And now I can be more authentic and just being here, 572 00:17:43.046 --> 00:17:45.882 maybe more relaxed instead of agitated or nervous. 573 00:17:46.507 --> 00:17:46.749 Yeah. 574 00:17:47.788 --> 00:17:49.226 It's interesting to say that because one of the things, 575 00:17:49.288 --> 00:17:49.452 too, 576 00:17:49.507 --> 00:17:51.468 that's helpful because what you talked about is 577 00:17:52.093 --> 00:17:53.265 I'm going to get it out of here. 578 00:17:53.593 --> 00:17:54.327 And or whatever, 579 00:17:55.062 --> 00:17:55.296 you know, 580 00:17:56.296 --> 00:17:57.562 place that I've kept this, 581 00:17:57.640 --> 00:18:01.718 people do PowerPoint slides or maybe you're doing flip chart paper or maybe you're just talking in front of people. 582 00:18:02.333 --> 00:18:05.215 We need to get to the point where even if you just walked around, 583 00:18:05.237 --> 00:18:05.776 I tell people, 584 00:18:05.795 --> 00:18:06.057 I said, 585 00:18:06.198 --> 00:18:07.338 as you're getting ready in the morning, 586 00:18:07.417 --> 00:18:08.440 as you're cooking dinner, 587 00:18:08.639 --> 00:18:09.221 as you're cleaning, 588 00:18:09.819 --> 00:18:10.163 say it, 589 00:18:11.444 --> 00:18:11.944 whatever it is, 590 00:18:11.983 --> 00:18:12.241 talk, 591 00:18:12.342 --> 00:18:12.842 just say it. 592 00:18:13.303 --> 00:18:13.585 You know, 593 00:18:13.842 --> 00:18:21.139 read it at first a few times and then drop the paper and just go say it to where literally it's natural. 594 00:18:21.155 --> 00:18:23.295 It's just coming out natural because a lot of it is, 595 00:18:23.327 --> 00:18:28.311 I think people get wound up because we're so programmed from school. 596 00:18:29.129 --> 00:18:29.369 You know, 597 00:18:29.409 --> 00:18:30.891 we've got to memorize this report. 598 00:18:30.910 --> 00:18:32.653 We've got to get up in front of the room and we've got, 599 00:18:32.672 --> 00:18:32.953 you know, 600 00:18:33.033 --> 00:18:33.432 it's like, 601 00:18:33.533 --> 00:18:33.752 okay, 602 00:18:33.815 --> 00:18:35.154 you don't have to memorize anything, 603 00:18:35.514 --> 00:18:38.221 but there's key points that you're going to want to hit. 604 00:18:38.760 --> 00:18:39.518 Speak it out loud. 605 00:18:40.080 --> 00:18:40.963 Get comfortable with it. 606 00:18:41.377 --> 00:18:41.518 Yeah. 607 00:18:41.861 --> 00:18:41.979 Yeah. 608 00:18:42.041 --> 00:18:42.822 Part of the, 609 00:18:42.885 --> 00:18:43.143 that you, 610 00:18:43.463 --> 00:18:45.127 I thought earlier and you brought it up again. 611 00:18:45.128 --> 00:18:45.752 I'm glad you did. 612 00:18:45.783 --> 00:18:51.174 It's like part of the reason the intelligent man becomes such a part of our experience, 613 00:18:51.190 --> 00:18:51.815 man and woman, 614 00:18:51.955 --> 00:18:52.190 you know, 615 00:18:52.205 --> 00:18:52.424 when I, 616 00:18:52.425 --> 00:18:52.986 when I say man, 617 00:18:52.987 --> 00:18:53.205 I mean, 618 00:18:53.236 --> 00:18:53.627 everybody, 619 00:18:54.080 --> 00:18:54.361 you know, 620 00:18:54.362 --> 00:18:54.799 um, 621 00:18:55.009 --> 00:18:58.632 is because we're rewarded for our intelligence at a very young age. 622 00:18:58.753 --> 00:18:59.655 Like you think about like, 623 00:18:59.772 --> 00:19:00.073 oh, 624 00:19:00.155 --> 00:19:01.034 they're so smart, 625 00:19:01.514 --> 00:19:01.776 you know, 626 00:19:02.218 --> 00:19:03.175 or like they're so this, 627 00:19:03.479 --> 00:19:03.722 you know, 628 00:19:03.800 --> 00:19:04.440 and just like, 629 00:19:04.776 --> 00:19:05.018 you know, 630 00:19:05.479 --> 00:19:05.776 I got, 631 00:19:06.542 --> 00:19:08.018 and even think of the way our, 632 00:19:09.222 --> 00:19:09.667 sadly, 633 00:19:09.800 --> 00:19:11.112 our educational system design, 634 00:19:11.143 --> 00:19:11.753 it's all like, 635 00:19:11.925 --> 00:19:12.143 I mean, 636 00:19:12.144 --> 00:19:14.550 it's changing because things are radically changing now, 637 00:19:14.972 --> 00:19:17.425 but it's all about memorization or just like, 638 00:19:17.456 --> 00:19:17.690 you know, 639 00:19:17.972 --> 00:19:22.018 it's all intellectual exercises instead of like, 640 00:19:22.268 --> 00:19:23.940 of just trying different things. 641 00:19:24.393 --> 00:19:24.633 You know, 642 00:19:24.994 --> 00:19:28.579 and like and letting that be being evaluated on our attempt, 643 00:19:29.176 --> 00:19:29.899 where it's like if, 644 00:19:29.900 --> 00:19:30.118 you know, 645 00:19:30.200 --> 00:19:30.321 oh, 646 00:19:30.379 --> 00:19:31.700 you're a bad student because, 647 00:19:32.200 --> 00:19:32.461 you know, 648 00:19:32.540 --> 00:19:33.485 you didn't get a grade. 649 00:19:33.486 --> 00:19:34.704 And then you begin to feel, 650 00:19:34.922 --> 00:19:35.204 you know, 651 00:19:35.205 --> 00:19:36.626 experience yourself in a different way. 652 00:19:36.805 --> 00:19:38.383 And that's maybe that's why you begin to, 653 00:19:39.290 --> 00:19:39.532 you know, 654 00:19:39.790 --> 00:19:42.938 get a little bit smaller and you begin to diminish and eat yourself, 655 00:19:43.032 --> 00:19:43.297 you know, 656 00:19:43.579 --> 00:19:45.110 in the taunting yourself in your corner. 657 00:19:45.672 --> 00:19:50.235 Whereas like and then the opposite is true to the people that are really smart and get A's. 658 00:19:50.251 --> 00:19:52.579 They go out there and always looking for that for that. 659 00:19:52.657 --> 00:19:52.782 Oh, 660 00:19:52.797 --> 00:19:53.422 you're so smart. 661 00:19:53.573 --> 00:19:53.713 Oh, 662 00:19:53.833 --> 00:19:54.754 that's genius. 663 00:19:55.074 --> 00:19:55.314 You know, 664 00:19:55.315 --> 00:19:55.935 so they're always, 665 00:19:56.015 --> 00:19:56.275 again, 666 00:19:56.375 --> 00:20:00.219 and now they screw themselves because now looking for an external validation. 667 00:20:00.258 --> 00:20:01.484 So everything is all about like, 668 00:20:01.742 --> 00:20:02.445 am I not smart? 669 00:20:02.523 --> 00:20:03.140 Isn't that smart? 670 00:20:03.203 --> 00:20:03.805 Look how I look. 671 00:20:04.062 --> 00:20:04.305 You know, 672 00:20:04.306 --> 00:20:05.023 am I not smart? 673 00:20:05.344 --> 00:20:05.562 You know, 674 00:20:05.563 --> 00:20:07.508 even dress smart and try to sound smart. 675 00:20:08.344 --> 00:20:11.187 Whereas I put themselves in situations with smart people. 676 00:20:11.594 --> 00:20:14.609 And it's always just that they never get down to where it really matters. 677 00:20:14.640 --> 00:20:15.359 It's here in the heart. 678 00:20:15.862 --> 00:20:18.545 It's all here. 679 00:20:18.604 --> 00:20:22.690 It's interesting you say that because it's about you're chasing that next thing. 680 00:20:22.908 --> 00:20:25.733 And Sean Aker talks about happiness advantage. 681 00:20:26.209 --> 00:20:26.990 When you do that, 682 00:20:26.991 --> 00:20:28.334 and it's about external rewards, 683 00:20:28.756 --> 00:20:31.319 your brain never gets to the cognitive horizon. 684 00:20:31.320 --> 00:20:34.576 It never gets there because it keeps moving the goalpost. 685 00:20:36.217 --> 00:20:37.670 And the same thing happens. 686 00:20:37.671 --> 00:20:38.623 People that I coach, 687 00:20:38.701 --> 00:20:40.811 it's like when you were talking, 688 00:20:41.780 --> 00:20:45.108 faces of people I coach in situations that... 689 00:20:45.822 --> 00:21:11.746 high achievers and are never satisfied they're never so i'm like can you just look for a minute and see how far you've come i mean could your 18 year old self do what you're doing right now well no and i'm like celebrate that yeah celebrate that but it's like it's never enough and when we're never enough you're like a hamster on the wheel and it's like so i'm gonna run after it's gonna feel good in this next promotion the next thing or not right 690 00:21:11.994 --> 00:21:12.415 It's like, 691 00:21:12.495 --> 00:21:14.357 just celebrate how far you've come. 692 00:21:14.376 --> 00:21:14.617 I mean, 693 00:21:14.796 --> 00:21:18.601 I'm able here to sit with you like you were talking about when you first started the podcast. 694 00:21:19.281 --> 00:21:20.707 And four years ago, 695 00:21:21.003 --> 00:21:22.363 this would not have been the case. 696 00:21:22.605 --> 00:21:23.863 I would not have reached out and said, 697 00:21:23.925 --> 00:21:24.066 hey, 698 00:21:24.128 --> 00:21:24.324 well, 699 00:21:24.449 --> 00:21:27.050 do you want to get in real record and we'll talk about that? 700 00:21:27.128 --> 00:21:27.957 It wouldn't have happened. 701 00:21:28.394 --> 00:21:28.628 Right. 702 00:21:28.925 --> 00:21:29.097 Yeah. 703 00:21:29.707 --> 00:21:33.472 So it's that kind of evolution that we need to celebrate it and say, 704 00:21:33.519 --> 00:21:34.128 you know what? 705 00:21:34.582 --> 00:21:38.316 I can do what I do now because of what I went through and what I learned. 706 00:21:38.503 --> 00:21:39.628 And well done me. 707 00:21:40.363 --> 00:21:40.519 Yeah. 708 00:21:40.962 --> 00:21:41.302 Yeah. 709 00:21:41.303 --> 00:21:43.083 And thank you for talking about the high achievers, 710 00:21:43.122 --> 00:21:45.384 because that's a trap that I get locked into. 711 00:21:45.525 --> 00:21:45.982 What's next? 712 00:21:46.025 --> 00:21:46.462 What's next? 713 00:21:46.505 --> 00:21:46.884 What's next? 714 00:21:46.904 --> 00:21:47.404 What's next? 715 00:21:47.603 --> 00:21:49.521 But what I'm learning is like, 716 00:21:49.568 --> 00:21:52.208 take a step back and like celebrate my wins for the month, 717 00:21:52.263 --> 00:21:52.685 for the week. 718 00:21:53.068 --> 00:21:53.505 You know what I mean? 719 00:21:53.506 --> 00:21:54.544 Even if they're small wins, 720 00:21:54.583 --> 00:21:54.763 like, 721 00:21:54.764 --> 00:21:54.982 you know, 722 00:21:54.983 --> 00:21:56.669 I got to the gym a bunch of times or, 723 00:21:56.943 --> 00:21:57.193 you know, 724 00:21:57.194 --> 00:22:00.411 I made these phone calls or I completed this and it's like, 725 00:22:02.005 --> 00:22:02.568 and it's like, 726 00:22:02.569 --> 00:22:03.474 but that's like, 727 00:22:03.490 --> 00:22:05.021 what's going to help bring us forward, 728 00:22:05.208 --> 00:22:05.583 you know, 729 00:22:05.833 --> 00:22:10.349 like from a more complete point of view. 730 00:22:10.710 --> 00:22:11.611 instead of being like, 731 00:22:11.711 --> 00:22:11.892 oh, 732 00:22:11.931 --> 00:22:14.755 I'm failing because I haven't accomplished this yet. 733 00:22:15.536 --> 00:22:15.935 And it's not, 734 00:22:15.974 --> 00:22:16.255 you know, 735 00:22:16.595 --> 00:22:16.915 and like, 736 00:22:17.536 --> 00:22:19.341 you can't be always chasing tomorrow. 737 00:22:19.841 --> 00:22:19.958 Yeah. 738 00:22:20.161 --> 00:22:20.318 Like, 739 00:22:20.319 --> 00:22:20.536 you know, 740 00:22:20.622 --> 00:22:22.021 everything is in the here and now, 741 00:22:22.482 --> 00:22:22.763 you know, 742 00:22:22.841 --> 00:22:27.068 and it's just like the more that you could use this moment, 743 00:22:27.489 --> 00:22:27.693 right, 744 00:22:27.724 --> 00:22:27.849 to, 745 00:22:28.271 --> 00:22:28.380 to, 746 00:22:28.755 --> 00:22:30.443 if you don't have your passion or purpose, 747 00:22:30.568 --> 00:22:33.271 go out and find that because that's going to be your compass going forward. 748 00:22:33.599 --> 00:22:35.239 But if you're on passion and purpose, 749 00:22:35.771 --> 00:22:35.958 right, 750 00:22:36.489 --> 00:22:36.661 then. 751 00:22:36.954 --> 00:22:53.042 you can use this moment to move you forward like very tactically like i'm i move forward tactically as i can i have like a mastermind i'm a part of you know it's just like what am i doing today what am i doing this week what am i doing this month what's my 90 day looking like and then and and it's and that's it's 752 00:22:53.073 --> 00:23:04.198 great to be in communion with other people to do that but um but if you're also this is part of the problem too that i that would comes up a lot in the podcast is people are not living on passion and on purpose 753 00:23:04.622 --> 00:23:05.283 So they're always, 754 00:23:05.303 --> 00:23:07.685 so the only thing that they really have to chase, 755 00:23:08.005 --> 00:23:08.205 right, 756 00:23:08.386 --> 00:23:09.345 is the external, 757 00:23:09.388 --> 00:23:10.447 which is the raise, 758 00:23:10.466 --> 00:23:11.068 the bonus, 759 00:23:11.189 --> 00:23:11.869 the promotion, 760 00:23:12.412 --> 00:23:12.591 right? 761 00:23:12.630 --> 00:23:13.388 Which is all about, 762 00:23:13.552 --> 00:23:13.669 hey, 763 00:23:13.709 --> 00:23:14.052 look at me. 764 00:23:14.310 --> 00:23:16.115 Didn't I do a great job on that presentation? 765 00:23:16.412 --> 00:23:16.576 Like, 766 00:23:16.591 --> 00:23:16.912 look at me. 767 00:23:16.974 --> 00:23:18.474 I'm staying here for 15 hours. 768 00:23:18.475 --> 00:23:19.998 I'm really just moving papers around, 769 00:23:20.037 --> 00:23:23.123 but I'm just trying to seem like I'm busy and I'm doing something because I love the company, 770 00:23:23.716 --> 00:23:23.919 right? 771 00:23:24.279 --> 00:23:25.435 And it's all transactional, 772 00:23:25.779 --> 00:23:25.951 right? 773 00:23:25.966 --> 00:23:27.607 Whereas like when you're on purpose, 774 00:23:28.029 --> 00:23:28.201 right, 775 00:23:28.232 --> 00:23:30.185 and you're doing things and where does purpose rest? 776 00:23:30.248 --> 00:23:30.794 It's in your heart. 777 00:23:30.826 --> 00:23:31.232 Passion, 778 00:23:31.373 --> 00:23:32.013 it's in your heart, 779 00:23:32.185 --> 00:23:32.388 right? 780 00:23:33.763 --> 00:23:34.169 and you're 781 00:23:34.842 --> 00:23:36.682 the expression is completely different. 782 00:23:37.323 --> 00:23:38.844 And the work is very different too, 783 00:23:39.282 --> 00:23:43.403 because it's easier sometimes to go to work and just check a bunch of boxes. 784 00:23:44.082 --> 00:23:49.785 And I check my boxes with my entrepreneurial life because it's of passion and purpose. 785 00:23:51.043 --> 00:23:54.903 But there's a different metric, 786 00:23:55.528 --> 00:23:56.012 if you will, 787 00:23:56.528 --> 00:23:59.403 like living on passion and purpose instead of just punching the clock. 788 00:24:00.082 --> 00:24:00.542 You know, 789 00:24:00.702 --> 00:24:01.042 I'm sorry. 790 00:24:01.043 --> 00:24:02.082 I don't mean to diminish like, 791 00:24:02.303 --> 00:24:02.543 you know, 792 00:24:02.643 --> 00:24:04.385 people that are like nine to five at all. 793 00:24:04.482 --> 00:24:04.904 But like, 794 00:24:05.264 --> 00:24:05.502 you know, 795 00:24:05.604 --> 00:24:08.604 there's a lot of like people that are part of problems. 796 00:24:08.605 --> 00:24:14.666 A lot of problems we have in society right now are because people are just trying to get a paycheck instead of trying to live on purpose. 797 00:24:15.307 --> 00:24:16.158 Big difference. 798 00:24:16.159 --> 00:24:20.564 And you can do both. 799 00:24:21.080 --> 00:24:21.205 Yeah, 800 00:24:21.439 --> 00:24:21.768 absolutely. 801 00:24:21.783 --> 00:24:21.939 Yeah. 802 00:24:22.783 --> 00:24:24.580 So it's like one of those things, 803 00:24:25.033 --> 00:24:26.768 and I think the important thing is, 804 00:24:27.424 --> 00:24:27.611 is... 805 00:24:28.210 --> 00:24:33.036 People may go in and I'm just going to make stuff up right now because that's what I do sometimes. 806 00:24:33.517 --> 00:24:35.556 But I fully call myself out for it, 807 00:24:35.557 --> 00:24:35.818 right? 808 00:24:35.819 --> 00:24:36.638 Be authentic. 809 00:24:37.122 --> 00:24:37.255 Yeah, 810 00:24:37.302 --> 00:24:38.122 I'm just going to make it up. 811 00:24:39.364 --> 00:24:43.802 But it's one of those things is like maybe you're working a job that's not your ultimate career job. 812 00:24:43.864 --> 00:24:45.552 Maybe you don't love what you're doing. 813 00:24:45.583 --> 00:24:47.536 Maybe it is to put food on the table. 814 00:24:47.786 --> 00:24:48.036 Yeah. 815 00:24:48.411 --> 00:24:49.364 But the thing is, 816 00:24:49.708 --> 00:24:51.286 when we ask ourselves, 817 00:24:52.755 --> 00:24:54.958 what in this that I'm doing that 818 00:24:55.333 --> 00:24:56.318 I actually enjoy doing? 819 00:24:57.298 --> 00:25:00.361 What aspect of it is so that you can connect to something else? 820 00:25:00.681 --> 00:25:01.464 Because otherwise, 821 00:25:01.465 --> 00:25:02.382 to your point earlier, 822 00:25:02.683 --> 00:25:08.910 we're going to look at all the crap as to why this is the worst place to spend X number of hours a day or a week. 823 00:25:09.152 --> 00:25:09.347 Right. 824 00:25:09.574 --> 00:25:10.628 But if I go in and go, 825 00:25:10.652 --> 00:25:11.191 you know what? 826 00:25:11.730 --> 00:25:11.933 Yeah, 827 00:25:11.934 --> 00:25:13.230 it's not my dream job, 828 00:25:13.292 --> 00:25:14.120 but hey, 829 00:25:14.214 --> 00:25:15.042 I'm getting a paycheck. 830 00:25:15.058 --> 00:25:16.074 I'm putting food on the table. 831 00:25:16.640 --> 00:25:19.442 And I actually like a lot of the people I work with. 832 00:25:20.304 --> 00:25:21.845 So I get to hang out with people, 833 00:25:21.985 --> 00:25:23.665 even though it's not my dream job. 834 00:25:23.728 --> 00:25:27.032 I get to hang out with people that I kind of like hanging out with. 835 00:25:27.110 --> 00:25:27.915 That's great. 836 00:25:29.235 --> 00:25:30.376 Find that stuff. 837 00:25:31.431 --> 00:25:33.134 Because otherwise we're always going, 838 00:25:33.149 --> 00:25:33.290 well, 839 00:25:33.337 --> 00:25:34.821 it's not that and it's not that. 840 00:25:34.962 --> 00:25:35.071 No, 841 00:25:35.259 --> 00:25:35.743 it's not. 842 00:25:35.821 --> 00:25:36.696 But what is it? 843 00:25:37.384 --> 00:25:37.540 Yeah. 844 00:25:38.337 --> 00:25:39.118 Right. 845 00:25:39.149 --> 00:25:39.556 God, 846 00:25:39.884 --> 00:25:40.399 I'm sorry. 847 00:25:40.400 --> 00:25:41.181 We can connect. 848 00:25:41.306 --> 00:25:41.431 Yeah, 849 00:25:41.462 --> 00:25:42.931 we can connect to that stuff. 850 00:25:43.399 --> 00:25:44.181 Yeah. 851 00:25:44.182 --> 00:25:44.384 You know, 852 00:25:44.462 --> 00:25:44.603 and. 853 00:25:45.092 --> 00:26:07.693 you know maybe my purpose is to my purpose in life is to help people that's my purpose and it just came out when someone asked me and i know that's big but but the beauty of it is it can play out in a number of ways and what happens in that space is i'm not i'm not narrating like well they're taking advantage of me they're whatever no i can always connect back to 854 00:26:08.115 --> 00:26:13.896 am am i helping is this helpful to you because if it is i'm in it 855 00:26:14.856 --> 00:26:15.076 Right. 856 00:26:15.597 --> 00:26:16.037 I'm there. 857 00:26:16.837 --> 00:26:17.099 Right. 858 00:26:17.859 --> 00:26:18.620 We can all do that. 859 00:26:18.659 --> 00:26:20.040 Whatever your purpose is, 860 00:26:20.161 --> 00:26:22.864 connect to that and figure out what you're doing in front of you. 861 00:26:22.927 --> 00:26:24.763 Maybe it's not the ultimate whatever, 862 00:26:24.849 --> 00:26:25.029 which, 863 00:26:25.122 --> 00:26:25.247 oh, 864 00:26:25.248 --> 00:26:25.568 by the way, 865 00:26:25.569 --> 00:26:26.364 there really isn't. 866 00:26:26.888 --> 00:26:28.193 But maybe it's not the ultimate. 867 00:26:28.427 --> 00:26:31.513 But there's aspects of it that as long as we look, 868 00:26:31.638 --> 00:26:35.997 we will find something that connects to what I'm going to say fills my cup. 869 00:26:36.560 --> 00:26:36.763 Yeah. 870 00:26:37.232 --> 00:26:37.372 Yeah. 871 00:26:37.419 --> 00:26:37.575 Well, 872 00:26:37.700 --> 00:26:40.247 one part of that feeling and you bring up a really good point there. 873 00:26:40.248 --> 00:26:42.279 It's like connecting to other human beings. 874 00:26:43.168 --> 00:26:43.369 Right. 875 00:26:43.429 --> 00:26:44.869 Like instead of just connecting to, 876 00:26:45.811 --> 00:26:46.051 you know, 877 00:26:46.191 --> 00:26:46.611 something, 878 00:26:47.514 --> 00:26:47.752 you know, 879 00:26:47.753 --> 00:26:47.932 I mean, 880 00:26:48.135 --> 00:26:49.295 the external more of like, 881 00:26:49.353 --> 00:26:49.475 oh, 882 00:26:49.514 --> 00:26:50.436 I just want more money. 883 00:26:50.756 --> 00:26:51.396 And it's just like, 884 00:26:51.420 --> 00:26:51.678 you know, 885 00:26:52.076 --> 00:26:53.115 they've shown it's like, 886 00:26:53.154 --> 00:26:53.396 you know, 887 00:26:53.498 --> 00:26:55.943 at a certain level of income, 888 00:26:56.240 --> 00:26:56.482 you know, 889 00:26:56.639 --> 00:26:57.279 happiness, 890 00:26:57.381 --> 00:26:57.639 you know, 891 00:26:57.904 --> 00:26:59.670 I think it's like seventy two thousand dollars, 892 00:26:59.686 --> 00:27:01.029 probably a little more now because of inflation. 893 00:27:02.107 --> 00:27:03.561 But like it's like probably about eighty, 894 00:27:03.562 --> 00:27:04.811 eighty two thousand dollars, 895 00:27:04.951 --> 00:27:05.107 eighty, 896 00:27:05.404 --> 00:27:07.717 eighty two thousand dollars to eight million dollars. 897 00:27:08.139 --> 00:27:08.326 Right. 898 00:27:08.467 --> 00:27:11.998 The level of happiness is marginally increases marginally. 899 00:27:12.692 --> 00:27:13.553 It doesn't even like, 900 00:27:14.214 --> 00:27:14.494 I mean, 901 00:27:14.615 --> 00:27:16.576 it doesn't matter like the money so much. 902 00:27:16.596 --> 00:27:18.818 It's like how you're filling your time, 903 00:27:19.400 --> 00:27:19.639 you know, 904 00:27:19.740 --> 00:27:20.920 with with what you have. 905 00:27:21.084 --> 00:27:24.928 And if you're out there connecting authentically with more people, 906 00:27:24.967 --> 00:27:25.865 like within your team, 907 00:27:25.928 --> 00:27:26.685 within your company, 908 00:27:27.045 --> 00:27:29.756 and really trying to help them and like staying on mission, 909 00:27:29.834 --> 00:27:30.490 staying on vision, 910 00:27:30.803 --> 00:27:32.553 you're going to be filled up from the inside. 911 00:27:32.975 --> 00:27:41.615 because like you're there's a certain you know almost a need like that other people have because you're part of a team and it's just like it's 912 00:27:42.420 --> 00:27:46.566 Anytime you can connect to your own humanity as well as humanity of other people, 913 00:27:47.105 --> 00:27:47.304 right, 914 00:27:47.445 --> 00:27:52.546 that's when you're I mean my experience is and things I'm learning continually through the show, 915 00:27:53.695 --> 00:27:58.312 like you're really going to have a greater impact instead of just being 916 00:27:59.156 --> 00:28:01.984 I keep coming back to the transactional because we're getting so 917 00:28:02.343 --> 00:28:05.187 I feel so distorted by the transactional. 918 00:28:05.203 --> 00:28:05.906 What can I get? 919 00:28:06.218 --> 00:28:07.281 How much money can I make? 920 00:28:08.031 --> 00:28:10.781 That is just it's just 921 00:28:10.984 --> 00:28:14.928 I think it's a false metric very much so. 922 00:28:15.288 --> 00:28:17.792 It is a measurement. 923 00:28:17.793 --> 00:28:18.651 It is, 924 00:28:18.710 --> 00:28:18.991 yes. 925 00:28:19.889 --> 00:28:22.678 If that is the only one that's at play right now, 926 00:28:24.421 --> 00:28:24.538 yeah, 927 00:28:24.639 --> 00:28:24.960 you're right. 928 00:28:24.975 --> 00:28:26.319 It's a hollow existence. 929 00:28:26.421 --> 00:28:26.780 I mean, 930 00:28:26.921 --> 00:28:28.569 it's like if you're chasing it, 931 00:28:28.570 --> 00:28:29.475 and the reality of it is, 932 00:28:29.522 --> 00:28:31.069 like we talked about before, 933 00:28:31.100 --> 00:28:31.522 it's like, 934 00:28:31.960 --> 00:28:32.100 well, 935 00:28:32.147 --> 00:28:32.803 I'm nervous. 936 00:28:33.006 --> 00:28:33.241 Well, 937 00:28:33.303 --> 00:28:35.225 that's not news to anyone that was in the room with you, 938 00:28:35.444 --> 00:28:35.694 right? 939 00:28:36.069 --> 00:28:37.225 They saw it before you did. 940 00:28:37.616 --> 00:28:40.069 And it's the same thing with people that are chasing the dollar. 941 00:28:40.776 --> 00:28:41.397 Right. 942 00:28:41.657 --> 00:28:42.839 The people around them, 943 00:28:42.859 --> 00:28:44.659 if that's truly your core focus, 944 00:28:45.300 --> 00:28:48.902 they know that you're going to show up in the room that way. 945 00:28:49.105 --> 00:28:50.448 You're going to engage with people that way. 946 00:28:50.542 --> 00:28:51.284 It's all about you. 947 00:28:52.206 --> 00:28:53.089 People know that. 948 00:28:53.191 --> 00:29:01.573 And part of the coaching I've done with some of the people that have aspirations to rapidly move up the food chain is part of that. 949 00:29:01.636 --> 00:29:01.917 I said, 950 00:29:01.995 --> 00:29:02.183 why? 951 00:29:02.355 --> 00:29:03.245 Why are you in the room? 952 00:29:03.261 --> 00:29:03.402 Well, 953 00:29:03.403 --> 00:29:04.355 I've got to prove myself. 954 00:29:04.386 --> 00:29:05.636 And I've got to do you. 955 00:29:06.448 --> 00:29:07.089 Do you really? 956 00:29:07.745 --> 00:29:09.620 Because if you got invited into the room. 957 00:29:10.368 --> 00:29:10.769 you're, 958 00:29:10.770 --> 00:29:12.530 you've already earned the right to be in the room. 959 00:29:13.112 --> 00:29:14.694 So now what do you need to learn? 960 00:29:14.733 --> 00:29:17.213 Because you're in the room with the people that you can learn from. 961 00:29:17.995 --> 00:29:20.155 But if you go in focused on the fact that, 962 00:29:20.256 --> 00:29:20.460 well, 963 00:29:20.600 --> 00:29:23.999 I've got to look good or I've got to prove that I should be here. 964 00:29:24.225 --> 00:29:25.225 How are you going to show up? 965 00:29:25.702 --> 00:29:26.702 How are you showing up? 966 00:29:27.108 --> 00:29:27.327 Right. 967 00:29:27.671 --> 00:29:28.561 How do you present yourself? 968 00:29:29.092 --> 00:29:29.624 Exactly. 969 00:29:29.842 --> 00:29:29.983 Right. 970 00:29:30.014 --> 00:29:30.686 So it's so, 971 00:29:30.842 --> 00:29:31.983 it's a totally different shift. 972 00:29:32.030 --> 00:29:32.342 It's like, 973 00:29:32.546 --> 00:29:32.764 you know, 974 00:29:32.765 --> 00:29:33.514 if you're in the room, 975 00:29:33.577 --> 00:29:34.686 you've earned there, 976 00:29:34.749 --> 00:29:35.608 there's a reason you're there. 977 00:29:35.827 --> 00:29:37.030 Just chill on that. 978 00:29:37.608 --> 00:29:37.780 Yeah. 979 00:29:38.233 --> 00:29:39.077 Now figure out. 980 00:29:39.488 --> 00:29:40.149 What can I learn? 981 00:29:40.150 --> 00:29:41.011 Right. 982 00:29:41.171 --> 00:29:41.751 How can I help? 983 00:29:42.333 --> 00:29:44.017 You are not here to impress people. 984 00:29:44.095 --> 00:29:48.146 You're here to absorb what they have to teach you. 985 00:29:49.029 --> 00:29:49.849 Be the sponge. 986 00:29:50.556 --> 00:29:51.037 Right. 987 00:29:51.038 --> 00:29:53.339 And a lot of times I find it's totally reversed. 988 00:29:53.340 --> 00:29:54.739 So I've got to demonstrate what I know. 989 00:29:54.861 --> 00:29:55.161 Do you? 990 00:29:55.720 --> 00:29:57.064 Because you've done something, 991 00:29:57.103 --> 00:29:59.263 which is why you got invited to that table in the first place. 992 00:29:59.849 --> 00:30:00.029 Yeah. 993 00:30:00.489 --> 00:30:02.208 That's another great distinction with this too. 994 00:30:02.271 --> 00:30:03.513 It's like being a know-it-all. 995 00:30:04.529 --> 00:30:05.052 You know what I mean? 996 00:30:05.068 --> 00:30:05.552 It's just like, 997 00:30:05.568 --> 00:30:05.935 and we, 998 00:30:07.075 --> 00:30:07.857 people like that, 999 00:30:07.950 --> 00:30:08.232 like, 1000 00:30:09.138 --> 00:30:09.372 you know, 1001 00:30:09.388 --> 00:30:09.919 it's just like, 1002 00:30:09.935 --> 00:30:12.200 I feel bad for them because it's all about like, 1003 00:30:12.201 --> 00:30:12.310 oh, 1004 00:30:12.341 --> 00:30:13.497 look how intelligent I am. 1005 00:30:13.498 --> 00:30:14.794 Look how intelligent I sound. 1006 00:30:14.903 --> 00:30:15.263 Like it's, 1007 00:30:15.622 --> 00:30:15.857 you know, 1008 00:30:15.966 --> 00:30:16.216 but our, 1009 00:30:16.294 --> 00:30:17.700 and they also kind of hold their nose. 1010 00:30:17.701 --> 00:30:18.622 They're not even listening. 1011 00:30:18.928 --> 00:30:19.409 You know what I mean? 1012 00:30:19.410 --> 00:30:20.009 Which is like, 1013 00:30:20.150 --> 00:30:20.269 oh, 1014 00:30:20.329 --> 00:30:20.570 God, 1015 00:30:20.571 --> 00:30:28.755 you talk about an easy way of like of expressing compassion or just adding value to another person just by simply listening to them. 1016 00:30:29.060 --> 00:30:31.521 But a know-it-all is always like they hold their nose up. 1017 00:30:31.583 --> 00:30:31.841 You know, 1018 00:30:31.880 --> 00:30:32.185 it's like, 1019 00:30:32.186 --> 00:30:32.302 oh, 1020 00:30:32.303 --> 00:30:32.880 I know everything. 1021 00:30:32.943 --> 00:30:33.622 This is stupid. 1022 00:30:33.661 --> 00:30:34.044 Like blah, 1023 00:30:34.045 --> 00:30:34.161 blah, 1024 00:30:34.162 --> 00:30:34.380 blah. 1025 00:30:34.747 --> 00:30:39.482 And that's literally this is that this is the guy in Dostoevsky's Notes from Underground. 1026 00:30:39.685 --> 00:30:40.466 That's the underground man. 1027 00:30:40.544 --> 00:30:41.294 Whereas like, 1028 00:30:41.295 --> 00:30:41.513 you know, 1029 00:30:41.575 --> 00:30:42.466 being alert at all, 1030 00:30:43.591 --> 00:30:43.779 right. 1031 00:30:43.794 --> 00:30:46.216 And just trying to absorb everything in your moment, 1032 00:30:46.294 --> 00:30:47.029 but realizing, 1033 00:30:47.388 --> 00:30:47.560 well. 1034 00:30:47.748 --> 00:30:50.251 the only way I'm going to learn is through direct experience. 1035 00:30:50.270 --> 00:30:51.632 I need to take some sort of action, 1036 00:30:52.634 --> 00:30:54.333 regardless of how nervous I am or whatever. 1037 00:30:54.376 --> 00:30:54.696 I'm not, 1038 00:30:54.716 --> 00:30:55.255 it's just like, 1039 00:30:55.294 --> 00:30:57.981 but on the other side of this experience, 1040 00:30:58.536 --> 00:30:58.778 you know, 1041 00:30:58.919 --> 00:30:59.122 we're, 1042 00:30:59.419 --> 00:31:00.239 I'm going to learn something. 1043 00:31:00.240 --> 00:31:01.442 We're all going to learn something. 1044 00:31:01.685 --> 00:31:01.942 And, 1045 00:31:02.083 --> 00:31:09.286 and I just happen to be the guinea pig right now that needs to put himself out there in order to create this experience for people. 1046 00:31:09.974 --> 00:31:10.645 Yeah, 1047 00:31:10.646 --> 00:31:10.770 no, 1048 00:31:10.958 --> 00:31:12.005 I totally agree. 1049 00:31:13.099 --> 00:31:13.411 Yeah. 1050 00:31:13.412 --> 00:31:17.333 I'm sitting here bobbleheading and grinning and thank you. 1051 00:31:17.768 --> 00:31:40.952 um for this time well thank you for this time it's it's pretty cool topic and uh i want to if you don't mind the door open for some future thing to get back together because i i enjoy the exploration uh of topics that impact people that we all support so question for you what what are one or two things that you would love people to walk away with um 1052 00:31:42.545 --> 00:31:44.389 that uh the fall is the way 1053 00:31:44.952 --> 00:31:45.292 you know, 1054 00:31:45.433 --> 00:31:46.593 and fool takes the risk, 1055 00:31:46.654 --> 00:31:47.554 takes up the cause. 1056 00:31:47.634 --> 00:31:48.595 He's the one that like, 1057 00:31:48.835 --> 00:31:49.337 you know, 1058 00:31:49.736 --> 00:31:50.716 puts himself forward, 1059 00:31:51.017 --> 00:31:51.259 you know, 1060 00:31:51.260 --> 00:31:53.259 disregard and disregarding, 1061 00:31:55.142 --> 00:31:55.400 you know, 1062 00:31:55.439 --> 00:31:57.486 the external validation of what people are going to think. 1063 00:31:58.884 --> 00:32:01.455 And I think just keep trying, 1064 00:32:01.673 --> 00:32:01.970 try, 1065 00:32:02.064 --> 00:32:02.267 try, 1066 00:32:02.345 --> 00:32:02.673 try, 1067 00:32:02.783 --> 00:32:02.955 try, 1068 00:32:03.033 --> 00:32:03.408 try. 1069 00:32:04.564 --> 00:32:08.001 And I think another thing that gets people locked up is like, 1070 00:32:08.267 --> 00:32:09.423 don't pursue perfection. 1071 00:32:10.501 --> 00:32:11.798 It is like to be perfect, 1072 00:32:11.799 --> 00:32:12.533 to sound perfect, 1073 00:32:12.534 --> 00:32:13.314 to look perfect. 1074 00:32:13.836 --> 00:32:18.521 Like it's a false pursuit and it's always going to let you down because the goalpost is always moving. 1075 00:32:19.002 --> 00:32:20.064 I think excellence, 1076 00:32:20.142 --> 00:32:21.002 like how can I, 1077 00:32:22.463 --> 00:32:23.463 through this experience, 1078 00:32:23.502 --> 00:32:26.588 discover and refine through more excellence? 1079 00:32:29.549 --> 00:32:31.299 And I think that's definitely the way forward. 1080 00:32:31.314 --> 00:32:33.080 That's like the fool's way forward. 1081 00:32:34.470 --> 00:32:36.502 And I'd rather be the fool than the intelligent man. 1082 00:32:36.720 --> 00:32:41.845 But I'll use my intelligence to be more foolish and maybe take more calculated foolishness, 1083 00:32:42.408 --> 00:32:42.705 you know. 1084 00:32:42.892 --> 00:32:43.002 Uh, 1085 00:32:43.299 --> 00:32:43.502 but 1086 00:32:43.836 --> 00:32:44.858 But I just got to go out and, 1087 00:32:44.859 --> 00:32:45.238 you know, 1088 00:32:45.358 --> 00:32:46.319 here's what they give it. 1089 00:32:46.320 --> 00:32:46.838 Just say, 1090 00:32:46.940 --> 00:32:47.299 fuck it, 1091 00:32:47.619 --> 00:32:48.780 jump in and go do it. 1092 00:32:49.440 --> 00:32:51.885 And then report back to Michelle and I and let us know how it went. 1093 00:32:54.127 --> 00:32:54.330 Oh, 1094 00:32:54.705 --> 00:32:55.369 it's so funny. 1095 00:32:55.565 --> 00:33:00.690 A couple things come to mind is the hashtag that I use all the time to get me through, 1096 00:33:00.691 --> 00:33:06.065 to get me to doing things that I'm uncomfortable doing and haven't done before is face your fears and do it anyway. 1097 00:33:07.028 --> 00:33:08.189 And so while you were talking, 1098 00:33:08.310 --> 00:33:10.611 it's like it's a face your fears and do it anyway moment. 1099 00:33:10.632 --> 00:33:11.974 So if you do come across, 1100 00:33:11.975 --> 00:33:12.212 you know, 1101 00:33:12.251 --> 00:33:13.314 all the stuff that you just said, 1102 00:33:13.353 --> 00:33:13.513 well, 1103 00:33:13.514 --> 00:33:15.212 but if you do come up against that barrier, 1104 00:33:15.236 --> 00:33:15.658 that wall, 1105 00:33:15.659 --> 00:33:16.494 that resistance, 1106 00:33:17.556 --> 00:33:18.298 check yourself. 1107 00:33:18.822 --> 00:33:19.501 Face my fears. 1108 00:33:19.580 --> 00:33:19.837 Woo. 1109 00:33:19.962 --> 00:33:21.962 This is this is this is kind of scary. 1110 00:33:22.884 --> 00:33:23.009 OK, 1111 00:33:23.150 --> 00:33:23.369 great. 1112 00:33:23.431 --> 00:33:25.712 Acknowledge it and then go forward. 1113 00:33:25.759 --> 00:33:31.166 And I'm not talking about being on the edge of a cliff or jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. 1114 00:33:31.167 --> 00:33:33.634 If for some reason you don't want to do it and someone talked to you into that stuff, 1115 00:33:33.775 --> 00:33:34.728 that's not what I'm talking about. 1116 00:33:35.340 --> 00:33:41.185 But it's about stepping into stuff that you're uncomfortable because on the other side of it is where you want to be, 1117 00:33:41.306 --> 00:33:41.845 where the learning, 1118 00:33:41.846 --> 00:33:42.267 the growing, 1119 00:33:42.326 --> 00:33:43.088 all this stuff is. 1120 00:33:43.089 --> 00:33:43.271 But yeah, 1121 00:33:45.334 --> 00:33:45.974 I just, 1122 00:33:49.217 --> 00:33:49.334 yeah, 1123 00:33:49.357 --> 00:33:49.717 just go for it. 1124 00:33:49.718 --> 00:33:49.834 Yeah. 1125 00:33:50.232 --> 00:33:51.349 Joseph Campbell says, 1126 00:33:51.740 --> 00:33:52.193 and with this, 1127 00:33:52.256 --> 00:33:52.803 it's like he goes, 1128 00:33:52.881 --> 00:33:55.099 where you struggle is where your treasure lies. 1129 00:33:55.959 --> 00:33:56.959 Those moments of fear, 1130 00:33:57.115 --> 00:33:58.709 like those are your best teachers. 1131 00:33:58.849 --> 00:34:01.646 Those are going to be your most transformative experiences in your life. 1132 00:34:02.006 --> 00:34:04.209 those are going to be things you're going to remember when 1133 00:34:05.240 --> 00:34:07.162 When you really just dance with that fear, 1134 00:34:07.223 --> 00:34:08.004 with that anxiety, 1135 00:34:08.063 --> 00:34:08.844 with that stress. 1136 00:34:08.883 --> 00:34:14.832 Because there's a great education within feeling that energy, 1137 00:34:14.988 --> 00:34:15.590 being with it, 1138 00:34:16.074 --> 00:34:16.895 and working with it, 1139 00:34:16.896 --> 00:34:18.934 and moving through it and with it. 1140 00:34:19.496 --> 00:34:20.918 And then see what the results are. 1141 00:34:21.699 --> 00:34:26.324 I think that results orientation is a very critical part of this conversation. 1142 00:34:26.356 --> 00:34:26.543 Like, 1143 00:34:26.699 --> 00:34:27.777 work for results. 1144 00:34:27.902 --> 00:34:30.418 And then call someone like Michelle and be like, 1145 00:34:30.419 --> 00:34:31.746 I want to talk about the results. 1146 00:34:32.262 --> 00:34:33.152 Let's sift through them. 1147 00:34:33.484 --> 00:34:38.388 Because you can find all these like there's gems and jewels in those experiences. 1148 00:34:38.407 --> 00:34:43.071 But it takes sometimes like a coach like yourself to take a step back and like, 1149 00:34:43.095 --> 00:34:43.236 hey, 1150 00:34:43.290 --> 00:34:45.775 let's learn from this experience we had. 1151 00:34:45.853 --> 00:34:47.478 And if you're not taking yourself experiences, 1152 00:34:47.821 --> 00:34:51.087 you're always going to take yourself back and eking yourself in your corner, 1153 00:34:51.134 --> 00:34:56.025 taunting yourself with the bitter and entirely useless consolation that intelligent man cannot seriously become anything. 1154 00:34:57.572 --> 00:34:58.093 Mic drop. 1155 00:34:58.272 --> 00:34:59.333 There's your mic drop moment. 1156 00:34:59.354 --> 00:34:59.934 I love that. 1157 00:35:00.815 --> 00:35:01.053 Right. 1158 00:35:01.718 --> 00:35:02.136 Thank you. 1159 00:35:02.417 --> 00:35:02.698 Thank you. 1160 00:35:02.699 --> 00:35:02.956 Thank you. 1161 00:35:02.957 --> 00:35:03.296 Thank you. 1162 00:35:03.839 --> 00:35:04.577 Thank you, 1163 00:35:04.620 --> 00:35:04.819 Michelle. 1164 00:35:04.999 --> 00:35:05.757 This has been a blast. 1165 00:35:05.803 --> 00:35:06.460 Yeah, 1166 00:35:06.624 --> 00:35:07.538 it's been a blast. 1167 00:35:07.639 --> 00:35:09.522 So this is Leadership Soundbites. 1168 00:35:09.983 --> 00:35:10.382 Please like, 1169 00:35:10.405 --> 00:35:10.561 share, 1170 00:35:10.624 --> 00:35:11.108 subscribe. 1171 00:35:11.147 --> 00:35:12.186 Until next time, 1172 00:35:12.866 --> 00:35:13.694 from Will and Michelle, 1173 00:35:13.695 --> 00:35:14.803 have a freaking awesome day. 1174 00:35:14.882 --> 00:35:15.366 Thank you. 1175 00:35:28.147 --> 00:35:28.347 Hey, 1176 00:35:28.507 --> 00:35:30.768 welcome to a little double, 1177 00:35:31.608 --> 00:35:32.987 maybe even a triple microdose, 1178 00:35:32.988 --> 00:35:33.487 if you will. 1179 00:35:34.569 --> 00:35:35.049 Recently, 1180 00:35:36.412 --> 00:35:36.529 I, 1181 00:35:36.748 --> 00:35:36.865 hey, 1182 00:35:36.889 --> 00:35:37.686 this is Will Schneider. 1183 00:35:38.733 --> 00:35:42.787 I did an episode on this podcast, 1184 00:35:42.826 --> 00:35:43.069 this 1185 00:35:43.529 --> 00:35:44.654 YouTube channel called 1186 00:35:46.217 --> 00:35:47.639 Leadership Soundbites with 1187 00:35:48.654 --> 00:35:49.358 Michelle Smith. 1188 00:35:49.951 --> 00:35:56.529 And we dove deep into a quote by Dostoevsky in mining out the information. 1189 00:35:57.983 --> 00:36:05.452 about what it really takes to be the fool and why the fool and being falling and being more of the fool, 1190 00:36:06.554 --> 00:36:07.429 what that all means. 1191 00:36:09.975 --> 00:36:16.679 We'll kind of get you out of the overthinking and give you more of a transformational power of direct experience.